Thursday, February 5, 2009

Hoping for Change


Well, its official folks, the economy is in the pooper and we’re all doomed to lives of rags and old cabbage. I know it’s depressing but we’ve got to play the cards we’re dealt and keep our chins up. Let’s keep hoping for change, both literally and figuratively, and maybe the change fairy (named Hope coincidently) will dump a whole load of it in our collective back yard. Where we can bag it up and take it to the local Wal-Mart with one of those coin counting machines. You know the ones that count your money and take half of it; but at least you don’t have to count it yourself. Then maybe we can figure out just how much change Hope brought us. Until then, here are some common sense ways you can tighten the old belt strap until that mischievous little sprite arrives:

1.) Develop a color coded, bar-graph-like, warning system to tell you what your current financial situation is. I’m telling you folks, it’s the first thing our government did after 9/11 to warn us about potential terrorist threats and we’ve been perfectly safe ever since. If there’s an impending disaster, it’s better to be prepared. Besides, if you can keep your finances in the yellow to orange region, you should be just fine.

2.) This next one is just plain common sense. If you’re short on money and can’t pay your bills you need to start making more. I mean it, start making more money. Granted, the paper can be a little hard to come by and the holographic images are a bitch, but the payoff is fantastic. You can pretend you don’t have any financial problems indefinitely!


3.) Finally, if one of your investments is bringing down your whole portfolio (oh, I don’t know, let’s just say something in auto industry) you should never just cut your losses. No way! I say throw everything you’ve got at it and if you don’t have anything left, it’s time for an eighth mortgage. You never know, it maybe your money that keeps them afloat. Besides, the more money you give them the more likely they are to get it right in the long run. It’s pretty much a win-win for everybody.

I know it can be tough, but it’s important for us to follow the examples set by our elected officials. Remember, if it’s good enough for America then its good enough for you. In the mean time, don’t give up, keep hoping for Change and changing for Hope.

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