BAN THE BULGE!!!

I’ve decided to take a stand. I am wholeheartedly against spandex. I realize, that spandex, in and of itself, may seem harmless enough; but in the wrong hands (read: on the wrong behind), I assure you, it’s deadly. You might argue that it looks fine on some people to which I would say, that may be; but on the vast majority of us it does not look fine. And because of that said vast majority I am recommending, nay demanding, that spandex be ban in all its forms. Let’s face it, being naked, without really being naked is not okay. Let’s not allow these “decent” exhibitionists to literally stretch the moral fabric of our society. You don’t see nudist colonies anymore, that’s because they’ve all purchased really expensive bicycles, “clothed” themselves in spandex and now flaunt their goodies at every neighborhood coffee shop in America. Don’t let their friendly banter or disarming smiles fool you, they’re the same shaved legged perverts who used to play “all natural” volleyball behind privacy fences. Thats right forlks, they've taken their “show” on the road, but it doesn’t mean we have to stand for it. Unite with me in stopping this very real threat to the very sensibilities that made us great. Say, no to spandex and BAN THE BULGE!