Splat

Like a banana falling out of the sky, oh wait, it is a banana falling from the sky.

(And here we all thought banana splits and ice cream sundaes were a harsh way to go.)

Paul and i were sitting on the floor of our apartment watching "Stranger than Fiction" on the laptop. Our sliding glass door was pulled back about a foot and a half. The afternoon breeze made the temperature perfect. Will Ferrell was just about to give the object of his affection some flours when a banana threw itself on our doorstep. It chucked its mushy remains just inside the door, partially on the carpet and what didn't splatter immediately on the wall to its right, flew inside about another 5 feet toward us and our clothes. What the heck?@#$! I sat frozen and stunned. I'd never witnessed the aftermath of a fruit committing suicide, let alone on our doorstep. Paul was quicker to action. He leapt up before i had even processed what had happened. He jumped over the sickened remains and ran out to our porch. He looked up towards the sky, probably searching for the catalyst since neither of us were aware of bananas ever moving on their own accord. (Although, there were those bananas back in the 90's that climbed stairs in pajamas...) At this point i was on my feet, looking up as well. No one lives above us and by that i mean they couldn't, unless they wanted to camp out on our roof. We have neighbors directly to our right and immediately perpendicular to them, -a high-rise of eight stories filled with more neighbors. Using my CSI skills, i judged the direction of the splatter and correlated trajectory of this cousin to the plantain deeming that it came from one of the higher apartments. It just seemed so shocking that someone would actually do that on purpose. But where did the banana come from? We looked at the above apartments, spying for doors opening or closing, checking to see if anyone was peering down when a really really big New Zealand seagull, called a skua, flew overhead carrying a red snapper. The fish suddenly tumbled free. The skua swooped down to catch it. Our view was obscured by the buildings so we weren't able to witness its recovery. It gave us our explanation though. The banana preferred to take its life into its own hands than fall prey to the torturous talons of the bird. It hurtled itself over 80 feet down, a sight more appalling than i could have imagined.