It felt like we were studying for a major final exam. We're no IBM computer engineers but we thought we could handle the technical aspect of operating a washing machine. Oh, how wrong we were. Not only were we defeated by a common household appliance but we got our butts handed to us. Robocops got nothing on our new state of the art washer/drying machine. No, not a stackable...an all in one. One compact, complex, completely frustrating piece of technological wizardry. We think, once we conquer "It" it will be to our benefit but for now, this Thing is taking charge of what It wants our clothes to look like, smell like and feel like. It sits in the corner of our bathroom, neatly tucked away behind our bathroom door. It stands no higher than 3 feet, looking ever so innocent. It washes, dries and has a 5 1/2 star energy rating. The theory is: you put your clothes in and 4 hours later out comes the cleanest, driest, best smelling unmentionables you can imagine. The problem is: the multiple flashing light and buttons don't translate to anything either of us has ever used before. There are symbols which we interpreted as some ancient form of Sanskrit and various numbers that only serve to intimidate. We dug out the manual. Yes, that's right, two self-sufficient stubborn first-borns broke down (nearly to the point of tears) and humbly studied. The first load produced clean, yet very damp clothes. We couldn't get the drier to come on again without it washing them all over again. And, while fun, we didn't feel like testing its water saving ability for a second time. We laid the soggy linen across our apartment floor. Gluttons for punishment we attempted a second load. Soap, clothes, shut door, lock, push buttons, begin. One would think it was simple. It wasn't. This time, 6 hours later, we woke up to clean and this time dry but hopelessly, desperately, impossibly wrinkled t-shirts, shorts, skirts and intimates. We almost thought someone had come in during the night and switched out our clothes. They were unrecognizable. When we work up enough sweat and stink in our current clothes we'll attempt a third load. We'll get it right one of these days.
Someone once said, "Third times a charm". That was probably uttered before there were washing/drying contraptions. We can hope though. We can hope.
2 comments:
This just flashed on our TV. Some alien life forms have assumed the form of washing machines and are taking over the clothes washed in various parts of the planet. Their goal is to make humans look as frumpy and poorly dressed as possible. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Please write a book! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time...Mom
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