The cage fighter within

The acclaimed bout of second trimester energy was short-lived and I’m back to being exhausted most of the time as I enter my eighth month today. And of course, comments and horror birth stories from co-workers, patients, strangers and friends are never in short-supply. “I have this friend who…” “I know this gal who…” “How much time do you have left? Geez. Are you sure you’re not having twins?” One more twin comment and I’m going to start handing people a Doppler heart monitor and say, “If you can find a second heart-beat, I’ll give you a prize.”

And while I get more tired, little dude gets more active. I believe he’s come up with an exercise regimen that he is quite passionate about following. I give the guy props for being so motivated, because frankly, all I want to do is drink a milkshake or five and watch Office re-runs.

Sea Monkey’s Exercise Program:

Swimming flutter kicks and arm strokes: 6a-8a

Chicken dance routine: 11a-2p

Zumba, M/W/F: 3-3:30 (it’s more intense so I’m assuming he likes to break it up)

Pull up to Umbilical Bar for some refreshments

Intermittent personalized stretching: 5-10p

*All this to prepare him for his favorite nightly workout:

Cage-fighting!!: 11p-4a

Can the inside of a uterus get bruised? Because I’m pretty sure mine is.