I’ve created a liver, lungs, lips and the bones are hardening. My biggest challenge now is to maintain the delicate balance of eating while appeasing the fire-breathing dragon parked in my throat. One minute I’m so ravenously hungry I could absolutely picture myself eating the entire buffet at a Ruby Tuesdays, then after only 3 bites, I pull my shoulders back and crane up at the ceiling, hoping that my table aerobics will create even the tiniest more room for food that I desperately want. Two more bites after that, the dragon is back, spitting tiny balls of flame, reminding me, he indeed exists.
My recent inner dialogue is not unlike that of a deep-sea divers journal entries while trapped under the sea in some lengthy bizarre experiment:
11/15/11: There is a strange burning sensation in my throat. I’ve eaten the rations I’ve been provided. Could I have possibly swallowed some sea water? I’ve been under orders to increase my portions to allow for the increased burning of calories but I’m finding it harder to consume it all.
11/20/11: A severe increase in bubbles emitting from the lower valves accompanied by a noise I have never heard before. Could my wetsuit be compromised?
11/20/11: I believe I crop-dusted some unsuspecting sea life.
11/21/11: Abdominal muscles are beginning to appear severely distended. Could it be the illusion of my mask or am I weakening? The fish are starting to stare.
12/05/11: An increase in the burning sensation. At first I was able to link it to certain rations. It now appears to come and go at will. I have taken to nibbling kelp.
12/07/11: Crop-dusted a whale. I do not feel bad.
12/10/11: My export is not matching my import. Something needs to be done about this or my abdomen might explode its already stretched capacity.
12/13/11: My endurance is lessening. I am weakening. This is not good. I am not exactly sure what lies ahead but I’m beginning to think I am less prepared for it than I’d like to be.
12/15/11: I have increased my exercise regimen. It’s not helping. My abdomen continues to distend further.
12/16/11: Burning sensation increases. Is my throat permanently scalded?
12/22/11: My ability to take a deep breath has officially begun to diminish. It is as though something is creeping up from below and pushing, nay, shoving up on my lungs. Must surface soon. Alas, while I’ve been told my specimen is now viable, my surface contact informs me that at least 3 more months is optimal.
12/23/11: Burning sensation constant. Bubble emitting constant. Distended abdomen now constant and possibly suffering irreparable damage. Formulating a proposal to the big boss man in which my partner will undergo the experiment next time.
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